Creating Time for Ourselves

 seedlings in raised planter with trellis

sweet peas climbing up the trellis & snaps in the back next to them

I don't know about you but I never feel like I have enough time - and I say it a lot "I don't have time for that".  And sometimes it's something that I would love to do or even something I should do.  That's why I so value gardening - because I have to make time for it.  Otherwise everything will die.  Literally.  I started sweet pea and snapdragon seeds in my basement in February - if you don't think I'm tending them like I gave birth to them then we just haven't met yet!

Why I can't seem to give myself that attention or time (yet!) I'm not quite clear on, but it needs to change.  I'm talking with a coach every couple of weeks and one of my assignments a month ago was to book something where someone takes care of me - a massage, a pedicure - something in that realm.  The first words out of my mouth were "I don't have time" as the massive list of things I need to do unspooled in my head.  Julia, my coach, didn't care.  "Book it" she said.  Our next meeting came and I hadn't booked it.  Our next meeting it tonight and have I booked it?  No.  

redheaded woman with white dog

But is my dog, Jasper, walked every day?  Yes.  Are my seedlings swimming in a delicious compost/fancy soil mixture?  Yes.  Are my roses fertilized with a fish and seaweed mix that does wonders for them?  Yes - and I don't even like roses!  (they're beautiful - I'm with you - but too many thorns).  Are we well stocked as a household on toilet paper, paper towels and dish soap (and cheese)?  Yes!  Yes we are.  

Regardless I constantly feel like I'm failing - at being a good business owner, a good wife, a good daughter, a good sister - and honestly being good to myself doesn't even make my radar.  The "shoulds" flood my head all the time.  

poem on paper

The Magnolia Journal printed this poem in an issue last spring and I liked it so much I taped it to the window in my office.  But I haven't done a great job of heeding the message.  So I'm writing it out for you and for me - mostly for me 😂 - because all of this "not valuing" myself, not feeling worthy of a break, not feeling deserving of some rest - it sucks.  And I want to do better.    

Here's the poem* "What if Time is On My Side":

"I cast time as the villain in my story as I look back at my life and, with a sigh,
declare that it has been a thief.
But time isn’t to blame. It isn’t the thief.
Maybe my cell phone is the thief. Maybe my to-do list is the thief.
Maybe it’s my poor stewardship of time or my discontentment.
Maybe it’s my obsession with work, my ill-informed idea of success, or my fixation on the past and how things used to be, or my enslavement to all the things that don’t truly matter — the things that don’t give life.
Maybe time is a gift, and the way in which I’ve managed it has been the villain, the thief.
And maybe it’s not too late, maybe there’s still enough time.
Enough time to steward well,
enough time to be intentional with my moments,
enough time to learn that the time I enjoy wasting isn’t wasted time,
enough time to learn that I’m the one who chooses how I spend it,
enough time to learn that time is my greatest asset, my most valuable resource, and enough time to learn how to open my eyes and look up
and to see all the ways in which this gift of time is well spent."

So, I'm going to go and book that self-care situation right now so I don't disappoint Julia and, one day soon, hopefully!, I'll book it because it's a kind thing to do for myself and that will be reason enough.  

 

*author uncredited as far as I know - if you know who wrote it please shoot me an email and I'll add their name!


6 comments


  • Erin's Faces

    Breana – ha! I booked a body massage with an add-on 30 min foot massage – I’m excited!

    Dan – thanks honey xoxo


  • Dan

    Book it Williams, and while you are booking it, book the next one too. Then you are already ahead of the game. You have my full support. 😉


  • Breana

    I think now we all need to know what kind of appointment you booked! :)


  • Erin's Faces

    Leslie – AGREED! I was just talking about this with Julia last night! She said “don’t book it for me, book it for you” – and I’d love to say that’s why I did it but it isn’t groan. BUT, I am trusting that when I do stuff like this I’ll find value in it and then value it for myself and do it for myself. Thanks for the support!

    Pam – yes! Agreed – so easy!


  • Leslie Ruppert

    Erin, by NOT booking your self-care appointment, you won’t be disappointing Julia, you will be disappointing yourself. JUST DO IT! You are worth it, and it will make you feel so peaceful. For an hour or so, you can just focus on you & how this self-care makes you feel inside.


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