Creating Time for Ourselves

 seedlings in raised planter with trellis

sweet peas climbing up the trellis & snaps in the back next to them

I don't know about you but I never feel like I have enough time - and I say it a lot "I don't have time for that".  And sometimes it's something that I would love to do or even something I should do.  That's why I so value gardening - because I have to make time for it.  Otherwise everything will die.  Literally.  I started sweet pea and snapdragon seeds in my basement in February - if you don't think I'm tending them like I gave birth to them then we just haven't met yet!

Why I can't seem to give myself that attention or time (yet!) I'm not quite clear on, but it needs to change.  I'm talking with a coach every couple of weeks and one of my assignments a month ago was to book something where someone takes care of me - a massage, a pedicure - something in that realm.  The first words out of my mouth were "I don't have time" as the massive list of things I need to do unspooled in my head.  Julia, my coach, didn't care.  "Book it" she said.  Our next meeting came and I hadn't booked it.  Our next meeting it tonight and have I booked it?  No.  

redheaded woman with white dog

But is my dog, Jasper, walked every day?  Yes.  Are my seedlings swimming in a delicious compost/fancy soil mixture?  Yes.  Are my roses fertilized with a fish and seaweed mix that does wonders for them?  Yes - and I don't even like roses!  (they're beautiful - I'm with you - but too many thorns).  Are we well stocked as a household on toilet paper, paper towels and dish soap (and cheese)?  Yes!  Yes we are.  

Regardless I constantly feel like I'm failing - at being a good business owner, a good wife, a good daughter, a good sister - and honestly being good to myself doesn't even make my radar.  The "shoulds" flood my head all the time.  

poem on paper

The Magnolia Journal printed this poem in an issue last spring and I liked it so much I taped it to the window in my office.  But I haven't done a great job of heeding the message.  So I'm writing it out for you and for me - mostly for me 😂 - because all of this "not valuing" myself, not feeling worthy of a break, not feeling deserving of some rest - it sucks.  And I want to do better.    

Here's the poem* "What if Time is On My Side":

"I cast time as the villain in my story as I look back at my life and, with a sigh,
declare that it has been a thief.
But time isn’t to blame. It isn’t the thief.
Maybe my cell phone is the thief. Maybe my to-do list is the thief.
Maybe it’s my poor stewardship of time or my discontentment.
Maybe it’s my obsession with work, my ill-informed idea of success, or my fixation on the past and how things used to be, or my enslavement to all the things that don’t truly matter — the things that don’t give life.
Maybe time is a gift, and the way in which I’ve managed it has been the villain, the thief.
And maybe it’s not too late, maybe there’s still enough time.
Enough time to steward well,
enough time to be intentional with my moments,
enough time to learn that the time I enjoy wasting isn’t wasted time,
enough time to learn that I’m the one who chooses how I spend it,
enough time to learn that time is my greatest asset, my most valuable resource, and enough time to learn how to open my eyes and look up
and to see all the ways in which this gift of time is well spent."

So, I'm going to go and book that self-care situation right now so I don't disappoint Julia and, one day soon, hopefully!, I'll book it because it's a kind thing to do for myself and that will be reason enough.  


*author uncredited as far as I know - if you know who wrote it please shoot me an email and I'll add their name!


  • Pam

    Thank you for posting – it is so easy to waste time on things that, in the end, really don’t matter. I

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