Am I Too Heavy to Run a Beauty Company?

Most makeup and skincare companies have models or celebrities who speak in low tones about the latest product or glide across the camera effortlessly in a very tiny body.  You got me instead.

Our online masterclass shoot where I did my hair :) and a FB Live in my bathroom where I at least washed it!

 I grab my phone when the moment feels inspired for Instagram Stories or FB Lives in our Green Beauty Gathering, whether I have makeup on or not, and when I’m doing a proper shoot I generally aim for a shirt that looks clean, give a half-hearted attempt to my hair and hit it. 

Nearly every time I second guess what I look like.  Which honestly sucks. 

I hear a family member’s voice in my head saying my arms are too big and I need to cover them (you'll notice a theme in the pictures from events above).  I hear another voice saying “you should always wear makeup” because the redness in my skin isn’t pretty and needs to be covered up. 

I hear another voice, mine this time, saying I used to be so much thinner and I should be embarrassed at the way that I look on camera.  That people won’t want to use my products or listen to my voice because it doesn’t come packaged the way that beauty lines package such things.  It isn’t airbrushed, perfected, styled or coiffed, it’s just me in my office or in my bathroom late at night and that’s not good enough because I used to be thinner.

I recently attended Rise with Rachel Hollis and Amy Porterfield was on the schedule.  I had heard her speak before and I think she’s awesome – major boss lady, running her own company, nailing it and, coincidentally, looking amazing while doing so.  She came out and talked for an hour about how paralyzing her judgement over her weight can be.  I was shocked.  I had no idea she was struggling with this.  She talked about how when she’s speaking in front of a group she overcompensates with having perfect hair, perfect makeup and perfect clothes to “make up” for the fact that she’s not skinny.  And I totally got it.  She talked about how she won’t take pictures that show her legs.  And I got that too.  Then she said something along the lines of “I wonder how great I could be if I wasn’t focused on my weight.”  That hit me hard because it was as if she took the words out of my mouth.  It made me so sad to think about how much time in my life I've spent lamenting that my body wasn't the right size.  

It is my 42nd birthday as I write this and I've decided that I’m done.  I'm done apologizing for what I look like and thinking it makes me less than.  I'm done apologizing for not wearing full makeup everywhere I go.  And I'm done limiting what I can give because I don't think it fits the picture of what I should look like.  It’s going to be a challenge but I’m finished with spending energy on it and continuing to carry it around with me.  I want to make kind choices for my body and I will do better with that but I also want to express gratitude for my body and how it literally supports me every day. 

My first no makeup post on IG - it was a big deal for me to share the first one.

This community gives me the opportunity to show up again and again, without apology, as the message that I want to share – of empowerment, education and acceptance – is more important than the insecurity I may have felt in a particular moment.  And without you, I wouldn’t have that purpose.  And if you know anything about me you know that purpose was literally what I prayed for when the seed for Erin’s Faces was planted in my heart.  So I promise to keep talking, literally never in low tones, with very little gliding, in a fluctuating body size to do my best for you...with, or without foundation on. 

A year after writing I recorded a podcast episode where I read this blog post and gave thoughts about it.  You can listen to it HERE.


  • Nel Shelby

    I love you Erin!!! Always real, always vulnerable. I have always felt a deep love for you because you are truly YOU. This conversation is so important. I, to, have battled the weight issue in my own way and yes what would we accomplish if it was not on our minds so much? Love you and you are an inspiration!

  • jenny

    Erin, i think you are so beautiful. thank you for sharing your struggles. i also want to stop being insecure, so that i can pass down a better model to my children. Love your company, and you are the PERFECT spokesperson for it!! i also LOVE your products, you’ve helped teach me that it’s important to take time to care for myself, and i SO appreciate that!!! YOU ROCK!!!!!! <3

  • Dania

    YOU ARE REAL. So many of your customers are just like you and we see you and feel seen.

  • Mary

    My sister found your products as I was having an issue with ingredients causing issues with my sensitive skin. I am a light skinned, freckle faced individual and was delighted to see your product videos that I could really relate to. I love your products as well as your approach to your company and life. YOU GO GIRL!!!

  • Julie Adams

    Erin I have always loved you for your loyalty, joy, inventiveness,enthusiasm, and perseverance. We all have challenges that seem to define how we think and/or act. Not everyone’ s struggle shows up physically, but they are there. Keep up your good work. You are beautiful, and your beauty shows up in all you do.

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