That Time Someone Called Me a Pig

super cute pig

I will say, pigs are also adorable though I don't think that's what he meant

It was about a year ago that a man commented on one of our Instagram Reels and, in reponse to what I looked like, said "GO TO THE GYM YOU 🐽" - a direct quote that I wrote all about in THIS post.  I was reminded of it this week for two reasons:

1 - I'm getting slammed with "lose weight" ads since it's a new year and this is when gyms make their $$$.  Now, I am all for going to the gym and I am all for making healthy choices.  If you get winded climbing the stairs, want to get on the floor to play with your kids, are training for a marathon, love the endorphins that working out gives you - things like that - I'm into it. 

What I'm not into is the voice that says "I'm not worthy of xyz if I don't lose weight", "please don't take my picture - I'm too heavy to be photographed", "I would look so much better if I was skinnier".  When we kick our value to the curb if it isn't tied to a certain number on the scale, measurement or size of pants I think we're doing ourselves a disservice.  AND I GET IT.  I really do.  I have yet to meet a woman who hasn't been made to feel less than because of her weight - not matter what her body looked like. 

I remember being in high school and doing synchronized swimming where it's hard to tell who's who as we're all in the water, hair in braids, wearing identical swimsuits.  Someone close to me said with affection, "I could always tell which one was you because of your chubby thighs" and I wanted to sink into the floor.  I was a size 6.  We've all had those scenarios.  

But the next time you duck in the back of a group photo so no one can see your tummy or refuse to buy new clothes that would make you feel lovely because you "should" fit into your old clothes I'm going to ask you to give that lady/gent a break and challenge the notion that you're not worthy because of what you look like.  

2 - a group of brand founders I'm in was expressing frustration in being trolled on social media (hello!) and how putting themselves out there felt vulnerable, scary and not worth it.  And y'all - that's what those trolls want.  To keep folks in the shadows, off of their screens, and out of their view.  But that's because they've been programmed too.  Which, to me, means we need more diversity - more body types, more skintones, more ages, more hairstyles, more of everything!  

I remember after the pig comment a friend and I were talking and she had a hard time believing that the comment hadn't hurt my feelings because it would have hurt hers.  As I share in the blogpost I had a moment of self doubt but it was quickly replaced with "oh no - we're not doing that - and we're going to talk about it!"  I will say, that's because I've gotten a few comments like these before and at a certain point they either break you or you climb on top of them and keep going.  So I've chosen the latter.  Otherwise I would need to winnow my waist down before it was acceptable for me to film anything to share on social media so that I could be acceptable to particular people's eyes.  

If you want to go to the gym because it'll make you feel better, it's good for your health or you just like it, great!  But I would love it if we could love our bodies, right as they are today, and give gratitude for what they do for us - being able to walk, carry things, see the world, hear music, tell stories, and more because some people don't even have all of that.  

And just this morning my friend, Merrady, sent me this quote from Joan Didion and I had to hop in here and add it because it sums up everything we've been talking about so beautifully, -"We flatter ourselves by thinking this compulsion to please others an attractive trait: a gift for imaginative empathy, evidence of our willingness to give...we play roles doomed to failure before they are begun, each defeat generating fresh despair at the necessity of divining and meeting the next demand made upon us... To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves...there lies the great singular power of self-respect."


  • Erin’s Faces

    Gloria – that’s the thing – it’s never enough! It’s bananas – I literally have never been more fit in my life than when I did synchronized swimming and still I had “chubby thighs”. It can feel so hard to create our own definition of beauty but I think it’s imperative for our mental health because we will literally never be able to measure up. I can talk about this for hours 😅!

    Ginger – I so hear you – and I love you get the jeans! I had gained weight and didn’t have any summer clothes that fit me. My friend, Jessica ( if anyone needs a wonderful virtual stylist) coaxed me into setting a $200 budget for clothes that FIT and were pretty. I was incredibly resistant because I HAD pretty clothes, they just didn’t fit me. And so I punished myself and was wearing stretched out shorts and shirts that were too big from my husband because I didn’t want to spend $$ as I hoped I’d lose the weight. Jessica convinced me to go to the store with her and picked out some really lovely basics that I wore all summer long and felt great in – buy the jeans 💚💚

    Amy – how incredible that you’ve had FIVE CHILDREN!! That your body could carry five children to term and now they’re out in the world – so many women can’t even have one 💕. And your body did that which is incredibly powerful. Seriously! I’m with your husband (good for him for knowing you’re beautiful inside and out). And I am so confident that you’re not just pretty, but you’re beautiful which, for me, is an internal thing that cascades outwards. It sounds Pollyanna but I believe it. And maybe you’re not there yet mentally, and I get that, but I bet there’s something that you believe about yourself – that you’re strong, a good friend, a loving mom, intelligent – something – and I’d start there. And say it when you look at the mirror. And then after a week pick something else. And so on. Beautiful will not be far behind 💛💛

  • Amy

    Thank you for this encouragement! I have always struggled with the way I look and my body size/shape. I never thought I have been pretty or enough and still don’t. And after having 5 kids (all c-sections) and just getting older and a slower metabolism, I’m at my heaviest. I struggle every single day with my body image. But I do have a very loving husband who tells me he thinks I am beautiful everyday.. and he makes me feel just a little confident in myself. And honestly, no one else’s opinion matters… I just have to learn to love me the way I am.

  • Ginger Shaw

    Thank you Erin. I’ve been fighting this battle my whole life being 67 years, still affects me. And what you spoke I so relate to. Maybe I’ll go ahead and get those jeans I want , but don’t want to face the size up 💙

  • Gloria

    You know what? I’m thin and always have been. People find something else to criticize me about. Shallow people will always find something.

  • Erin's Faces

    Marian – thank you so much – I appreciate both of those points a lot!! I’m grateful for you :)!

    Karen – thank you lady! I’m having a wonderful day and hope you are too 💚

    Julia – AGREED! Our packaging is a fun way to show individuality in our clothes, hair, makeup choices and such but literally is not the whole package. Thank you for that insight! xo

    Cindy – thank you 💛 you’ve always been so warm and so kind to me. I remember a discussion about bathing suits in the pool at camp and feeling so grateful for your insight and support. And yes – we really ARE powerful and all of this nonsense is just intended to take us away from that so thank you for that reminder.

    Sarah – absolutely – I need it too 💚💚

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