But What Will People Think?

I stopped by  a friend’s shop this week to check in and catch up. She asked about life after Erin’s Faces and how things have been since I closed. I shared that it has been really harmonious and she paused for a minute, then looked at me and said,

“I’ve thought about closing too… but I just keep thinking—what would people say?”

There it was.

And she’s not alone. After I announced that we were closing our doors, I heard from so many small business owners - some who were teetering on the edge of burnout and others who were ready to jump ship tomorrow.  

But over and over again, I heard a version of the same fear:

“What if people think I failed?”
“What will they say?" 
“What will they think?”

What will people think? It’s such a loud question for so many of us. And it doesn’t just live in business. It can creep into every corner of our lives.

It can also happen with a jury of one - I was talking with another friend who has been taking art lessons from the same teacher for years. She told me she's not progressing anymore as her teacher appears to have checked out and that going has started to feel like a burden. Her joy was gone. 

And then she shared, “Honestly? I’ve felt like this for five years.”  Five years!!

She kept booking lessons, week after week, year after year, not because she wanted to, but because it felt too uncomfortable to have the conversation. She didn’t want to hurt her teacher’s feelings. She didn’t want to be seen as ungrateful or disloyal.

So she stayed stuck

(Don't worry - she's ending her lessons this month).  

At times we live under the gaze of this imagined panel - it could be a parent, a neighbor, a friend, a client, or even a stranger. And let's be clear - if people are talking about you and not to you, they don't have the full story. They don't know your level of overwhelm, what you want with your life, what your finances are, or that you just changed your mind and want to do something else - they don’t know any of it (nor do you need to explain it).

And yet, we often hand them the keys to our choices.

That stinks.

When I was making the decision to close Erin’s Faces, I wasn’t afraid of what people would think about me. Gratefully, that fear barely registered. What did matter to me, deeply, was how it would affect my team, and my clients. These were the people who had given me their time, trust, energy, and loyalty. I felt a responsibility to do right by them (that's you if you're reading this😊) .

But the opinions of the general public about my potentially being a failure because I was closing my business?  That didn't get any air time because I knew why I was closing and I knew it was what was best for me. I'm so grateful I trusted myself, bet on myself, as I haven't always done that historically, it was the best decision I could have made.  

And your choices may disappoint people. Dolly Parton wrote "I Will Always Love You" when she was leaving the show run by man who discovered her, Porter Wagner, and he was NOT happy about it.  But it was best for her (I always like to factor in WWDD - What Would Dolly Do?) and aren't we glad she did what was best for her?!

So, if you’re wrestling with a decision right now - whether it’s about your career, your appearance, your relationships, your rest - please know this: you don’t have to run it past the invisible jury. You don’t owe your happiness, your clarity, or your peace to anyone’s hypothetical reaction.

We get one life and you're allowed to grow - even if it surprises people.